When a relationship goes wrong with Thai women in Thailand, it's the ducks

Ask any Foreigner who is married to a Thai wife and they will tell you that they are quite unique and different in many ways to western women. This is particularly true as regards temperament and culture. But there is this dark side which must be understood.

UK man reveals the dangerous side of Thai women

Thailand has very much a living culture and this extends to the marriage relationship. Jeremy Woodford is a former local council civil servant from the north of England who has lived in Thailand and in the United Kingdom with his Thai wife, Annie, for the last 17 years. 'Nearly every day that goes by, I marvel at my relationship with my wife,' he tells us. Jeremy met Annie on a visit to Thailand in 1999. They were introduced by friends. 'But there is one thing I always tell anyone out there thinking about taking up with a Thai woman, it's not to get them excited or upset them, I mean. It's quite difficult to do in reality because they're generally very placid and gentle. But if you manage to do it at all, all hell breaks loose,' he says laughingly.

Explosive outbursts from dedicated Thai wives

Jeremy recalls the first time that his Thai wife completely lost her self control and became very, very upset with him. Many foreigners living with Thai wives in Thailand or in countries around the world are familiar with personal breakdowns like this. Accepted wisdom among networks as to the best course of action for the foreign husband or life partner, offered with a sense of humour, can be summed up in one word: 'run'. What Jeremy remembers about this initial incident and subsequent incidents over the years is that they occur in situations where it was his wife who was some way at fault, not him. 'They say in Thailand that face is everything, but this is so true, it is never a good idea to make a Thai wife feel bad about herself. They strive so hard to do what's right in the relationship and I think it's sort of like if confronted with her failure, something in the brain doesn't compute, if I can put it like that. So over the years I tried, where possible, to always make my Thai wife feel good about herself and we are very happily married.' Jeremy explains that these occasions have been rare and as the years go by, they occur less often and now even when they do, he handles the situation expertly.

Thai wives who cut off their husband's or boyfriend's penis

In Thailand it is not unusual to find almost daily Thai news reports on local TV and newspapers reporting very serious domestic incidents between Thai men and their wives. The growing instances of Thai women marrying foreign men means this now extends to Thai-Foreign relationships. Among some of the more alarming reports on Thai media are infrequent although regular stories of Thai women deliberately cutting off their husband's penis. Such incidents have happened so regularly in Thailand that some Thai hospitals have developed standards and expertise relating to specialist surgeries required for reattachment of the penis organ and associated care procedures. Carla Boonkong, a research who works closely with Thai women who develop relationships with foreigners explains: 'One of the reasons for this is the fact that Thailand is such a patriarchal society, many feminist researchers have linked the scale of patriarchy within Society to the level of penis envy scored among women in research.'

Sexual infidelity and financial pressure often provoke Thai women

Bringing it down to a basic level and reality on the ground in Thailand, you must imagine the predicament of many Thai women particularly in rural areas. Many are living within families at the lowest social economic scale or level of wealth.These Thai women, who often have to deal with unfaithful or in many cases irresponsible Thai men who take on a second or minor wife. The minor wife is more often a younger woman and this exasperates further the family's already precarious financial situation. 'I think most situations where these horrible incidents occur, there is some sort of story like that,' says Carla Boonkong.

Thailand's association with penis amputation

This association of Thailand with penis amputation began in the 1970's and 1980s. There was an epidemic of such incidents particularly in rural areas. These incidents, studied by international academics, including one research project conducted by the Medical College of Georgia in the United States researched the issue in depth. Not surprisingly, the studies found that they were caused by Thai wives who felt humiliated by their love partners and at the same time felt restricted at their ability to respond because of the nature of Thai Society.

Penis cutting rampage by Thai women spawns popular joke

The epidemic of penis amputations was thirty or forty years ago but regular incidences still continue today at a lower level. Forty years ago the problem was so great that it gave rise to a popular joke in Thai Society. Many Thai men, who stayed out a bit too late would tell their companions that they had to return home quickly 'before the ducks have something to eat.' The joke stems from the reported practice from Thailand's Isan province where a number irate Thai wives fed the amputated penis to the ducks in the water.

Jeremy Woodford in the UK is also familiar with the association of penis amputation, ducks and Thai women. 'I thought I was hearing things one night after my wife had calmed down, she jokingly told me that I would have to be careful or she would feed my penis to the ducks, the exact phrase she used was 'cut penis, give duck,' he recalls with a chill. 'At first I thought It was hearing things but I can tell you it keeps me on my toes and I check regularly check to make sure the knives are all in place!'

American studies into penis amputations in Thailand

The continued occurrence of Thai women amputating a partner's penis has resulted in more studies over the years including a study for the Journal of Urology in 2008 by the University of St. Louis. The results of the studies are hardly surprising but nonetheless interesting. These incidents arise from an emotional crisis in the family particularly where Thai wives of Thai women felt that their children were being deprived or victimized. As well as the public humiliation suffered by Thai wives when men were unfaithful or had minor wives.

One study: no Thai husband pressed charges against his wife

It was also found that financial difficulties or financial crisis played the part in many incidents. In one particular study, researcher was surprised to find that all the male Thai husbands or partners declined to press charges against their wives in the aftermath. The studies tried, were possible, to have discussions with the couple's involved even though in most cases divorces proceedings had been issued.

Carla Boonkong believes that the absence of government support and women's support networks in Thailand may be one of the key reasons why incidents in the country are so prevalent: 'I think that these are moments of hysteria particularly as they are driven by issues of a sexual nature and many of the women involved simply do not have the mental discipline and mental support to deal rationally with the injustice or deprivation they have suffered.'

Freud's key question: what is it that women want?

Sigmund Freud, the man who created a modern psychoanalysis, posits the theory, rejected by modern feminists, that female mental functions are dominated by the woman's sexual reproductive function. Interestingly, Freud was the first psychoanalyst to introduce the concept of penis envy while also offering up the concept for men called castration anxiety. Fiercely questioned and immersed in controversy by his research, Freud concluded after 20 years of research by saying: 'The great question that has never been answered and which I have yet been able to answer is this; what is it that women want?'